Divas, Amputations, & Living on the Edge

Should I begin with my latest awkward bathroom mishap or save that for the end?

 Hmmm…the end it is then.

So this week I was determined to be like all the other classy folks in this Auburn group and go to a show, because that seems to be the only other popular activity amongst the group besides having the refectory blues with Robert Sean Leonard. Yeah, you liked how I casually name dropped there?

Yeah apparently Dead Poet Society and House’s good ole Rob wanted to get his minted lamb on with us. Sadly, my case of the black lung made me a bit indifferent towards his presence and unable to scream: “DON’T DO IT MAN, YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS QUESTIONABLE SELECTION OF MEAT!"



Yes Robert, that is indeed a minted lamb burger.



But no, Robert is not the diva I am referencing here. Oh no that title belongs to Sex and the City’s Kim Cattrall who starred in the show I went to see—Sweet Bird of Youth. Don’t worry Kim’s character didn’t stray too far from the beloved Samantha Jones because she too had some Mrs. Robinson tendencies.  After the show was over I waited eagerly to meet Kim but like I said before, somebody is a diva and doesn’t come out between shows, so I had to get my ticket sent to her in order to be autographed all peasant-style. BUT, you know who isn’t a diva….



This guy, aka the leading male role, aka Mr. attractive



Thus, it all worked in the end!

So in honor of one of my final weeks here before Ireland, I didn’t just venture out to a show but to the white cliffs of Dover!!!

In Dover I found myself at home and perhaps this was because the people displayed a great amount of southern hospitality. Who knew I would actually miss manners?

But yes, the people of Dover were wonderfully nice and also quite theatrical. I learned this at the lovely war re-enactment we happened to stumble upon. And I enjoyed it because kilts were involved AND I got to play with historic guns and such.



Our "don't mess with 'merica" faces



KILT DOWN, I REPEAT KILT DOWN!



Did I mention there was also a “live” amputation?



Sorry bout it bro



And then I met this man who is one of my people!!

 I like to call him my Great Great  Grandfather Bilbo. Yes I know that name is from Lord of the Rings, but it makes perfect sense in my head.

And after this tearful reunion with Great Great Grandfather Bilbo, we decided to conquer the white cliffs of Dover.



Cliffs in your backyard, completely casual



Goddess of nature



Just take it for what it is...pure boss

 We almost lost Morgan in the process, but hey every great journey has its causalities
(Hey Morgan).

On the way home, we rode a double decker bus in which we REALLY needed the Jamaican head from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban’s advice: “It’s going to be a bumpy ride.” Not joking at all or anything but at one point we sort of plunged into a tree. But the fun part was meeting these two tween girls who were obsessed with Demi Lovato, the Biebs, and Americans in general. Seriously I have never seen someone so excited to be given an American dollar and not because they were poor but because it was something American.

Overall it was a fun time and I would highly recommend Dover to anyone traveling over here.

But what I don’t recommend is frequently using the girls’ bathroom when you are indeed male (you thought I had forgotten the bathroom mishap didn’t you??).  Here at the oh so lovely Regents College of London there is a girls’ floor with a community GIRLS’ bathroom. However this doesn’t make sense to the new guy, who I would like to clarify is American and does speak English so this is not some cultural miscommunication. So of course when I am doing my usual bathroom pre bed routine, the mystery man who has been leaving the seat up finally reveals himself. I am stunned …because this is the girl’s bathroom and he is not a girl and I am not looking presentable.  We brush our teeth in silence and because I am well me….I feel this need to make the guy in our bathroom--who is currently making me feel extremely uncomfortable--more comfortable…..so yeah I make no sense.  I chat him up as if us using the bathroom at the same time is actually normal. To make this even better, turns out this guy sucks and is kind of a huge jerk.

 Cheers to scurrying to the transparent door showers in fear every night!!

Tune in for Ireland…and those of you that have experienced Ryanair airlines….WISH ME LUCK!

 Hopefully it will go better than trying to get a Father's day picture at the famous Beatles Abbey Road crossing at night with oncoming traffic



Do not attempt